A close friend asked me, ‘How did you figured out what’s your Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C are. You were crying real bad just a minute ago!’ I startled. She continued, ‘All my life, I had always follow the flow. I never thought someone life can be so tough.’
What she meant tough was, that I graduated when I was 22, and between the age of 22-25, and these:
- I had to figure out how to divorce my parents (yes, I spend my after graduate time figuring this out, rather than my career path)
- how to get a house for my family before the bank confiscate our home
- to be the strict ‘father’, worrying-about-the-house-finance, & breadwinner in the house
- how to argue & win fights with men older than me that is destroying (yes, destroying) my life & my family’s, rather than feeling safe & guided by them.
All seems to start with cries, thinking ‘why me?’. Then, I developed emotional lower back pain. Had severe gastric till the point I vomited greenish acid. And the worse part of all, I was alone in all this in the very beginning. I have a lot to do, but zero idea how to go thru them.
I was very uncertain on how I’m going to pull this thru, when it will end, and to who I should talk to – or even trust.
Those 4 years were really the most uncertain, uncomfortable & stressful phases of my life. Now, I’m almost 26 and I have only 1 thing to say – ‘Alhamdulillah. Thank you, Allah!’
If it wasn’t for all those hard times, I wouldn’t have forced myself to accept & learn things I don’t know, push myself to talk to people about real life problems, to admit that I am far from independent, talked myself into believing that I really needed support system, coached myself to be firm & saying no to those who have been holding me back.
And that was the time I realized, you really got to face uncertainty if you wanna be a leader; a spouse, a parent, a mentor, or a good friend. You got to be strong yourself, before you will ever be strong for others.
If God have given me the choice to go thru them or not, surely I won’t, because I know I wont make it out alive. But, Allah knows our capability much more than ourselves, and all we need to do is;
to be certain in uncertainty.
So, to answer that question. Why do I made Plan A, plan B & plan C? Because you must always prepare for the worst.
Either you are feeling that uneasiness when you are about to end a relationship, to leave a long friendship, to quit a job. Or the feeling unsure to propose the person you want to marry, to change career path, to go back to school; here’s 30 things about uncertainty that might help:
Real truth about uncertainty
- There are no guarantees when we step into the unknown. But it is in these periods of discomfort that life’s most important adventures can arise.
2. You’re going to be afraid. That’s not a bad thing, because the times when you’re uncertain and fearful are the times you grow.
3. Without uncertainty, we might never grow because we would never be pushed beyond our comfort zones.
4. No one has it all figured out.
5. Not knowing exactly what will happen next in our lives is okay. In fact, it is actually liberating.
6. We can’t embrace a new uncertain future when we are fully attached to our old lives or an idea of how we think something should be.
Surrender your control
7. When you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing.
8. The energy of surrender accomplishes much more than the energy of control.
9. When you feel overwhelmed and you are tempted to take everything into your own hands, you have to make yourself be still. The battle is not yours. The battle is God’s.
10. If you’re dealing with uncertainty, you probably have stress in your body. Release it.
11. Making peace with uncertainty requires courage, faith, and trust that you will in fact be taken care of, that no matter what happens, you’ll find a way through it, that you don’t have to have all of the answers today.
12. ‘Waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one’s thoughts’. – Elisabeth Elliot
13. Say ‘I know You have a plan for me. I pray for the direction to follow it, patience to wait on it, and knowledge to know when it comes.’
14. I’ve noticed that things go much more smoothly when I give up control—when I allow them to happen instead of making them happen.
15. The ability to let go, not knowing, and not trying to control what will happen next is a necessary skill for living happy, joyous, and free.
Being certain thru uncertainty
16. Uncertainty is not the same as fear. Fear is not bad. It’s here to warn you. It’s saying, “This might happen, so plan accordingly.” Don’t just experience fear. Don’t fear uncertainty. Use your fear. Master your fear.
17. When you consider the worst, you can plan how to handle it.
18. The difference between people who do big things and those who have the same ideas but do nothing, is not that successful people are more capable or fearless. They just do it anyway!
19. Action is the antidote to fear. Do something. Do anything.
20. The quality of our lives is directly related to the amount of uncertainty we can live with comfortably.
21. ‘It’s better to have faith in the uncertainty, than sadly in certainty.’ – Tony Robbins
22. I can’t possibly predict the future, but I can help create it by fostering positive feelings about the possibilities.
23. Belief in experience as feedback leads to an attitude of flexibility and likelihood of more positive emotion.
24. Those who can be most flexible in both thinking & behavior will be most influential.
25. Take the opportunity to feel absolute certain and develop certainty that you can handle almost any problem whatever happens and turns thing around.
Being a clear leader
26. Uncertainty is a permanent part of the leadership landscape. It never goes away. Where there is no uncertainty, there is no longer the need for leadership. The greater the uncertainty, the greater the need for leadership.
27. As leaders we can afford to be uncertain, but we cannot afford to be unclear.
28. People will follow you in spite of a few bad decisions. People will not follow you if you are unclear in your instruction. The individual who can communicate the clearest vision, will often be perceived as the leader.
29. Changing the world doesn’t require you to have perfect clarity, but it does require you to express your uncertainty with confidence.
30. Your capacity as a world changer will be determined by how well you learn to deal with uncertainty. But remember, it’s not our responsibility to remove the uncertainty. It’s our responsibility to bring clarity into the midst of it.
So, there you go! 30 things for us to know & remember when facing the unknown future.
Honestly, by knowing your life or choices are full with uncertainty, the more reason why you should make your goal to pursue Mardhatillah (keredhaan Allah) thru the uncertainty with these things that are already certain;
that Allah will reward you for every little effort you do despite not knowing how to,
for every little good deed you give or think of,
for the patience in facing situations with good attitude,
for accepting what is beyond your control but is in His Knowledge,
for the changes you made which Allah have intended to bring you to a higher level.
Allah will surely stir the world to your benefit and brings you confidence thru the unanswered questions and unsolvable situations.
So what, if your life’s messy. Perfect isn’t the plan. Purpose is.